കലർപ്പില്ലാതെ വിശ്വസിക്കാൻ ഒരു ദൈവമുള്ളത് എത്ര ഭാഗ്യമാണ്..

 

കലർപ്പില്ലാതെ വിശ്വസിക്കാൻ ഒരു ദൈവമുള്ളത് എത്ര ഭാഗ്യമാണ്..

 

സങ്കടങ്ങൾക്കിടയിലും നിറഞ്ഞ് ചിരിക്കാനാവുന്ന കാലമായിരുന്നു അത്..

പ്രാർത്ഥനാമുറിയിലിരുന്ന് ഞാനും ദൈവവും സംസാരിക്കുന്ന കാലം..

പോരായ്മകളും, ദയയും, നന്മയും മനസ്സിലെ ഓരോ ചിന്തയും

ദൈവത്തിനറിയും പോലെ ആരുമറിയരുതെന്ന് ഞാനാശിച്ചു

ആ വിശുദ്ധമായ ഇടത്തേക്കാണവർ അനുവാദമില്ലാതെ കടന്നേറിയത്..

കണ്ണീർ രുദ്രാക്ഷങ്ങളും, ഓട്ടുവിളക്കുകളും അവർ തട്ടിയുടച്ചു

മനസ്സിലേക്ക് കാപട്യത്തിൻ്റെ കല്ലുകളെറിഞ്ഞു

ഹൃദയം കീറിമുറിച്ചു, സ്നേഹം എങ്ങനെ അഭിനയിക്കണമെന്ന്,

വെറുപ്പ് പടർത്തേണ്ടതെങ്ങനെയെന്ന്, കുതന്ത്രത്തിലൂടെ

എങ്ങനെ ഒരാളെ ഒറ്റപ്പെടുത്തേണ്ടതെങ്ങനെയെന്ന്, 

വിശ്വസിപ്പിച്ച് ചതിക്കേണ്ടതെങ്ങനെയെന്ന്

അവർ സ്റ്റഡി ക്ളാസ്സുകളെടുത്തുകൊണ്ടിരുന്നു..

ആദ്യം ഒന്നും മനസ്സിലായില്ലെങ്കിലും ദൈവം കാണുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു

ദൈവം പറഞ്ഞതിൽ വിശ്വസിച്ചതിനാലാണ് അല്പം ദയ കാട്ടിയത്

അത് നന്നായി, ആ ദയയിലേക്ക് വീണ്ടും കല്ലുകൾ വന്ന് വീണപ്പോൾ

ചില മനസ്സുകളുടെ സഞ്ചാരമെങ്ങനെയെന്ന് മനസ്സിലാക്കാനായി..

 ദൈവത്തോടിപ്പോൾ  ഒന്നും ചോദിക്കാറില്ല..

പ്രാർത്ഥനാമുറിയിലിരുന്ന് ഒന്ന് മാത്രം പറയും

എന്നെയറിയാമല്ലോ..

അറിയാമെന്നൊരു മന്ദഹാസമുണ്ടാകും

സത്യമായിട്ടും ഇടക്കവരെ ശപിക്കാറുണ്ട്, ഇടക്ക് അവരുടെ വിവേകരാഹിത്യത്തിൽ സഹതാപവും തോന്നും

അവരെഴുതിക്കൂട്ടുന്ന കഥകൾ മുന്നിലേക്കിട്ട് ദൈവം ഒന്ന് കൂടി ചിരിക്കും

ഞാനും ചിരിക്കും

കലർപ്പില്ലാതെ വിശ്വസിക്കാൻ ഒരു ദൈവമുള്ളത് എത്ര ഭാഗ്യമാണ്....

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How lucky it is to have a God to believe in ....

It was a time when I could smile even in the midst of sorrows..

A time when God and I would sit in the prayer room and talk..

I hoped that no one would know the shortcomings, kindness, goodness, and every thought in my mind as God knows.

They entered that holy sanctum without permission..

They broke my tear filled rudrakshas, ​​and brass lamps,

threw stones of pretence into my mind,

torn my heart, and taught me lessons on how to slander 

and pretend love and how to spread hatred..

They showed a  craft to isolate voices 

A study class on topics which i was not familiar with.. 

Although I didn't understand anything at first, God was watching.

I showed a little kindness because I believed in what God said.

In my astonishment stones were thrown even on that benevolence too..

Not surprised at the end ..

I tuned my mind with the support of God to go walk  through the storm.. 

When I pray to God, I don't ask now for anything..

I will just say one thing while sitting in my  prayer room of faith..

God, i know you know me well.. 

He will smile back.. 

Even though it is true, I sometimes curse those trespassers, and sometimes I feel sympathy for their lack of wisdom.. 

God will put all the stories they write and laugh.. 

I will laugh too

How lucky I am to have a God to believe in without any doubt..

GENUINELY KIND PEOPLE WILL NOT MANUFACTURE HATE CAMPAIGNS.

 GENUINELY KIND PEOPLE WILL NOT MANUFACTURE HATE CAMPAIGNS.

 

I had hopes against hope that a certain someone will  harm me with tricks  and that is the reason I tolerated a lot of planned attacks when it is initiated against me. I thought it is all may be because of a misunderstanding and an outburst of anger as I knew the support and care I received once appeared to be genuine.  I have tolerated more in silence but later learned that even my silence too is manipulated to disrespect me.

I knew from the heart of my heart that  my intentions were pure and that is the real reason I got support from one almighty god when I was put in deep trouble .  

 

Now I do not have any expectation from anyone and I know my good heart can save me and support me in any difficult situations than the glossy and high profile words from people..

 

No one has the right to take away my freedom and if they do not respect my space and life I consider that they lack vision in life. If someone wants to remain visionless it is a choice of that someone. 

 

I know that genuinely good people will not manufacture hate campaigns and if someone does that it shows a clear state of lack of wisdom. 

 

I am thankful to those who created a hate campaign against me and those who joined that campaign to silence me that I could filter out the people who really cared for me when I was going through a difficult period of my life.

My mother had taught me from childhood that we children should not join hate campaigns or join sides just to down play another human being. I thought it is better to stay alone than to surrender my soul under the feet of hate mongers and mean human behaviour.

Let the haters continue to hate and create stories of their choice. 

Life is precious and it is important now to take care of me and my dreams. 

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അങ്ങനെ എല്ലാവർക്കും സമാധാനമായിരിക്കുന്നു

 അങ്ങനെ എല്ലാവർക്കും സമാധാനമായിരിക്കുന്നു 

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പാവം ഒരു കവിതയെ ഒളിവച്ച് തോൽപ്പിക്കാൻ ശ്രമിച്ച് സ്വയം പരാജയപ്പെട്ട നിലാവ്

തിരികെ ഗർജ്ജിച്ചും, വാക്കിന് മൂർച്ച കൂട്ടിയും, സ്വയം മുറിഞ്ഞ് കത്തിത്തീർന്ന് മടുത്ത് പോയ കവിത

ഇടയിൽ നിന്ന് രക്തം കുടിച്ച ആട്ടിൻ തോലിട്ട ചെന്നായകൾ.. 

ഇതിനിടയിലെവിടെയോ വന്ന് അഭിനയമോ, അതോ ശരിയോ എന്ന് തീരെ മനസ്സിലാകാതെ പോയ പ്രണയം.. 

നരകമെല്ലാം ഭൂമിയിൽ തീർന്നെന്ന് തീർപ്പെഴുതിയ കടല്

കയത്തിലിനിയാരെ മുക്കിക്കൊല്ലണമെന്ന് തീർച്ചയില്ലാത്ത പുഴ

മിണ്ടിയാലും, മിണ്ടാതിരുന്നാലും ഒരു പ്രയോജനവുമില്ലെന്ന് മനസ്സിലാക്കി ഉള്ളിലെ അഗ്നിയെ തണുപ്പിക്കാൻ ഹിമധ്രുവത്തിലേക്ക് ഇടക്കിടെ യാത്ര പോകുന്ന കവിത

തിരികെ കൊടുക്കണമത്രേ, എന്ത്..?  വാക്കുകളോ, പ്രവൃത്തികളോ.... 

അങ്ങനെ ചന്ദ്രായന് സമാധാനമായിരിക്കുന്നു. . ഭൂമിയുടെ ചിത്രങ്ങൾ  ഭൂമിയറിയാതെ പകർത്തി പലർക്കും അയയ്ക്കാൻ സാധിച്ചതിൽ , ഭൂമിയുടെ കരുണയും, ദയയും കാണാതെ പോരായ്മകൾ മാത്രം പകർത്തി  സ്വന്തം കുണ്ടും കുഴിയും, കറുപ്പും മറയ്ക്കാൻ ശ്രമിച്ചതിൽ എന്തഭിമാനം.  മുഖം മൂടിയിടാൻ പണ്ടേ സാമർത്ഥ്യമുള്ളതിനാൽ  എല്ലാം ശരിയെന്ന് അഭിനയച്ചങ്ങനെ പൗർണ്ണമിയും അമാവാസിയും ഒരേ പോലെയെന്ന്  ഭാവിച്ച് അങ്ങനെ പോകുന്നു. കൂലിയെഴുതാൻ കുറെ ആരാധകരെയും കൂടെക്കിട്ടിയതിൽ കൂടുതലഭിമാനം.

ഭൂമിയ്ക്കും സമാധാനമായിരിക്കുന്നു. ഒളിഞ്ഞും തെളിഞ്ഞും ഭൂമിയെ ചലഞ്ച് ചെയ്ത് ചെയ്ത് സ്ഥിരം കാല് തട്ടിവീഴുന്നൊരാളെ കണ്ട് ചിരിക്കണോ കരയണോ എന്നറിയാതെ ഭൂമിയ്ക്കും സമാധാനമായിരിക്കുന്നു. ഋതുക്കളുടെ ഭാഷയെഴുതുന്ന ഭൂമിയ്ക്ക് കൂലിയെഴുത്തിനാളുകളെന്തിന്. പൂവുകളങ്ങനെ വിടരുകയും, മഴ പൊഴിയുകയും  ചെയ്യുന്ന വഴിയിൽ ഭൂമിയങ്ങനെ ദു:ഖവും, ദുരന്തവും സന്തോഷവും എല്ലാം കണ്ട് കണ്ടനുഭിച്ച് എന്ത് വന്നാലും ഇതേ പോലെയൊക്കെ തന്നെയെന്നോർത്ത് നടന്ന് പോകുന്നു.

സമാധാനം ലഭിക്കാത്ത ചിലരുണ്ട്.. ഇടയില് രക്തം കുടിക്കാൻ കാത്ത് നിൽക്കുന്ന ചെന്നായകൾ... അവർക്ക് സമാധാനമായിട്ടില്ല.  അവരെ സൂക്ഷിക്കേണ്ടിയിരിക്കുന്നു. 

അത് കൊണ്ടാണ് ഭൂമി മുറിവുകളിൽ കവിത വച്ച് മൂടുന്നത്... 

ഈ സമയവും കടന്ന് പോകും... പോകുമായിരിക്കും...

ആൾക്കൂട്ടത്തിനറിയില്ലല്ലോ നമ്മളുടെ സന്തോഷം എന്തെന്ന്.. അവരെന്തെങ്കിലും എഴുതിയിടട്ടെ, അതൊക്കെ വായിച്ച് ബേജാറാവുന്ന കാലം കഴിഞ്ഞ് പോയിരിക്കുന്നു.

ദൈവമേ നന്ദി, എല്ലാ സത്യങ്ങളും പറയാൻ കഴിയുന്ന, അറിയുന്ന ഒരാൾ, ഒരിക്കലും ഉപേക്ഷിച്ച് പോകാത്ത ഒരാൾ ദൈവമേ അത് നീ മാത്രമാണ്..കവിതയെഴുതാനുള്ള മനസ്സും, സമാധാനവും തന്നനുഗ്രഹിച്ചതിന്.. നന്ദി..

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GOD KNOWS THE TRUTH

 

GOD KNOWS THE TRUTH BY EACH HEARTBEAT AND BY EACH BREATH..
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God is nothing but the goodness one holds in heart. 

That pure form from within knows what is truth.

There may be several stories people create for convenience

However  the ultimate truth remains there - non challenged

Stories are made to foster egos, not to prove the right

They are created, structured not to cherish kindness

It is a convoluted world of miscalculations and agonies

Relentlessly fighting again and again only to promote one alter ego

 

Why not accept the truth instead of creating umpteen stories

Pure truth is not the showcased layer of a make believe story

 

The cracks of the heart is resulted mainly  by not understanding

the truth at one point  or failing to understand the truth fully.

 

The one who fears truth creates endless untrue stories and defeats the goodness of the heart.

May be to please a society or a crowd it is s required but for the ones who is happy within the goodness not need such a shield..

 

A pact with  a God of the goodness  is easy but it is difficult to make a peace pact with those hatch plans to silence the truth to create a make believe story which only support them not the truth.

 

The most difficult trauma of life is that most humans fail to find an alphabet to express the  truth that the outer world in all means try to silence the one with a voice. . The people who claimed once they care will not even be there to offer a helping hand  as they will be  busy supplementing their alter egos. When the alter ego takes control of the truth it is miserably manipulated and at that point it is best to talk it out with the God rather than reasoning it with a manipulative world. Those who purposefully try to manipulate will continue to do that and once their motto is understood it is wise not to reason out with them. Allow them to create any stories of their choice until they decide to stop.  If they are not interested to stop it is their solely their choice to continue to be untrue.

 

God is nothing but the goodness one holds in heart and converse and share the anxieties only with that God as most often when in need only that goodness will save and safeguard.

 

For sure god knows the truth and that pure entity knows well of the created storms and stories and who manipulates and who is true from within.

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ΣΕ ΟΠΟΙΟΝ ΜΠΟΡΕΙ ΝΑ ΑΦΟΡΑ

All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.

Manasi..

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Sometimes I feel I need to tell some truths. It is a fact that people do not understand what we try to say.

Some incidents in life change our perceptions and challenge our peace of mind for a long time. I have come across with one such incident. Partially I should be blamed because I was not aware of such tricks and tactics exist to fool people with such make believe propaganda. Our heart and mind turn numb for a while to recover from that shock and only the strongest of strong can withstand that destructive storm. Thankfully I have overcome that now no one can manipulate me with the way they want.

Thankfully I have mastered the art of ignoring those people who constantly bully me in social media. Initially I was worried not getting connected there but it is a place of no interest to me now. It never fascinates me norI wish to be there in the social platform. I turned more creative in my thinking and I work on ideas which fascinate me. I notice those who try to drag me into arguments and I know it is done with a certain purpose of destroying my peace. When I post in social media I see a kind of counter postings by malignant minds and I think it needs to be stopped as I need no validation from them in the first place

I have to tell you this. It is a fact I know that you are a person with a lot of goodness in your heart. It is a fact that the proof I hold on that is endorsed by a universal power. But it is also a fact that occasionally you have made some heartless inhuman conspiracies against me that in fact resulted in your downfall. My guiding divine force endorsed even that...

I had this human like doubt that whether all this a conspiracy or not but my guiding divine said otherwise. Due to human shortcomings, I did not believe it or take it in its own merit. I felt a kind of unbearable stress on me always and i somehow wanted to escape from the disturbing outer circle.

Later, when I tried to show courage through poetry amidst many personal sorrows, the way your army haunted me is beyond my tolerance level. I learned the art of ignoring them however it was difficult.

What is after all this.., love, concern? The innocent love we feel for those who show us kindness. Why it is all messed up with a lot of possessive greed and jealousy. Why such devastating feelings should come in between goodness and concern. I hear a kind of emotional blackmail, brain draining speeches to remind me of a love. Was it there or not? Certainly there some sparks of truth from the universe I heard but I was not convinced of a masked entity with no name or identity which y which showed no respect to my whole existence while disappearing.

One thing I know is that a few hire human army to destroy our peace where the goodness we keep in our mind is enough to block such attacks. When you overdo things to cause me pain there will be a divine interference from the goodness I hold in my heart. That goodness can outshine your any number of paid platoons.

Instead of challenging my simple entity you may please challenge your ego and polish your self to become a better human. Try to be better version of yourself instead of hiring immature paid up artists to showcase you as a small minded human being.

I know, no one needs any validation from others but your paid up army keeps on validating me and even I do not need their validation as I know from within I am a good human being.

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LIFE  IS  BEAUTIFUL 

I said to myself. It is time up to take care of me. Unfortunately it is a bit late but fortunately not too late.

I was tolerating a lot not because it is fine to take such uneasy stuff from  immature brains. Initially  I thought let it end amicably. Later I found that the tormentors stamping me more than I could take when I thought my silence would stop the verbal manipulations. It never stopped. I was accused of many things which I was not even aware of. I told myself several times not to reply at all as it is better not to answer to the ones who want to manipulate their side as the predominant right.

Each and every post of mine was  scrutinized by someone who was more interested in knowing what I do than to focus on his own growth. I did not know why this happened to me. I do not know it is a make believe story or real one. I had my own big personal burden in my head at that time to resolve and I did not know someone was helping me and I felt a kind of concern in some posts.  I was not sure whether it is genuine or not that a lot of make believe games people play i noticed  in social media. I was not certain whether to believe a high profiled masked human beings even when I felt someone was helping me. I quietly suffered for a while thinking of that specific help (not sure now whether it is a make believe act or not) that I should allow people to go peacefully if they want.  All on a sudden I heard a lot of fake ids shouting at me - time to go. I was wondering why I should go from social media.. I was wondering from where I should go. I was shattered but I had faith in myself and I watched someone else going out from some place.

I can understand if someone wants to go away from me it is fine that they can peacefully do that. I am the last person to go behind a person to disturb if they do not like me. I feel always very happy and contented in my own company and I always feel very comfortable alone that i never wanted a group of people around me.  In truth, I feel at times lonely in front of a crowd .  I never wanted to be in a crowd and I withdraw happily from a crowd where I am not comfortable. In IPC I found a certain someone is playing mean games against me and I was shocked at first and later came to know that the same person had called for this ' time to go' campaign.

God saved me several times from  people who betrayed me from behind and this time too he saved me. For believing people blindly more than they deserve I apologized God this time. My sincere efforts to avoid a war were ridiculed several times and I understood it is time to stand only for me. The ones who betrayed me from back and front accused me of several things and I was literally in a shock for a while. Later I learned that my heart is pure and my tears and time are not for the ones who showed no respect for my feelings. It took some time for me stand by my own and by that time a different story was concocted against me.  The tormentor is projected as a magnanimous heart and all the blame was placed on me. I had suffered because half truth was projected and the true facts I had in my end is intelligently silenced..                 

I have learned a lesson that it is time up to stand for myself,

When I look back I know I had a difficult season of my life. I faced it with bruises but wth determination. I faced a bad season alone and when i needed the most only God stood by me not  the one who even now claims of a help and manipulates i am the ungrateful one. There no need to explain to anyone as my pact with  God is pure and truthful. I faced a storm and God stood by me...Life is beautiful . I am able to write again with a calm mind..

 Isn’t it beautiful..

RECOLLECTIONS – A STUDENT’S NOTEBOOK

 RECOLLECTIONS – A STUDENT’S NOTEBOOK

(Rema Prasanna Pisharody)

(Former Student – Batch of 1975-1980)

Memories I cherish about my school is such that I cannot write them all in a few words. It is a great feeling to think even after three decades that I studied in Mt. Carmel Convent Girls High School. It is at times, I wonder what make me think so special about my school and I know I can get all the answers instantly from my own origin to the core point of my present.

 

To begin with, I was born into a conservative family of teachers. We were a literate lot of scholars but after the fall of dynasties and the modern formal schooling system was a concept yet to be accepted there existed a minor crisis in our group. People in our group in general were skeptical on modern educational system as India was a land of ancient gurukuls.My mother was a teacher and we three sisters studied upto the fourth grade in Muttampalam Govt School where she taught. We could not continue there as the school did not have any upper primary grades during those days. My mother was particular that we three go to the best school of our  town  and she did not have a second thought in selecting Mount Carmel Convent Girl’s High School for our future.

 

I remember that during those days, sisters of Mount Carmel visited our village to enlighten villagers to educate their children. Many girls in my village joined the school for their good. Our village had a lot of school dropouts and sisters of Mount Carmel without fail visited our place each year with a strong message of good education. I am sure that they would have gone to many villages with the same message.

 

From old memories, I can recall that my school had the best facilities even in 1970s. Our school had the best of best of everything; a good administrative block, good team of teachers, well organized sports department, library with good books, beautiful prayer hall, chapel, classy auditorium, a home for economically backward students, boarding facility, lunch scheme again for the economically weak sections and a lively campus with lush green trees. What more a student needs to dream for a better

future.

 

Carmelite Sisters of this school were kind and at the same time strict disciplinarians. They worked as a unit for the betterment of the students and school in general. They ignited the spark and provided opportunities for each student to come out of her hidden talents. When I hold back the mementos I received from my school on various co-curricular events, I know it is not me but my school was instrumental in winning all those laurels. I remember that, in one of the school district meets in

Changanassery, our drawing teacher Lilli had accommodated all of us in her house and we won the district championship in that year. Teacher Lilli had arranged a royal feast for all of us in her house and later in school we were all honoured in the presence of school’s Mother Superior. There was a passion in working for the school and a lot of positive energy was instilled on students.

 

Strikes were common in our God’s own Country during those days and the politically motivated strike groups even used to attack our closed gates. Sister Raichel, our chief at that time used to take us all to the school auditorium and when the strikers move away we were asked to go back to the classes. Shenever wanted her students to miss any classes as she thought her school should excel in academics.

 

Youth Festival in school was one of the interesting events and all students enjoyed the three day festival. There were four teams and to reach the championship point, students like us joined in almost all the events we could manage

 

 I remember collecting soft slushy clay from the paddy filed to join for the clay modeling completion. There was a kind of passion in doing things. There was a driving force on studentsto bring out the best in all fields. Apart from that, teachers worked day and night for academic excellence and students competed to excel, to lift up the image of the school.

 

When I was in high school, management has introduced a school band and those in sports fraternity were asked to join. Two officials from the police department were assigned to train us on music band. We were taught ‘general salute’ and a few parade items. I played bugle and we were all so happy being associated

with the school band.

 

I discontinued from the band in my tenth grade and I remember our school had the

most vibrant band team in that period. My school was looked upon when we interacted with the other educational institutions and I know it is because of the hard work of the Management and because of the sincere Teachers. Mount Carmel is an institution where I learned to focus on the hidden potential.

 

There was a motivational  force to guide, assist and to cheer all around. And that was the year, there introduced poetry competition in school. Theme – write about school.. A few of us joined, with a goal to add points for our respective teams. Championship Trophy was our ultimate dream. Annikutty Teacher had taught us in class about alankarams and poetic meters of poetry writing. I counted my words, guru, laghu to reach out the poetic meter........ I wrote my first line.. 

 I did not know how it sounded. I was too amateur even to know what exactly poetry is at that time...There was a surprise waiting for me.... first prize.....

Three decades were like feathers. My passion for poetry ended not. The first prize I got for versification from my school motivated me to read poems of great poets. Poetry of Tagore touched and softened my heart. Later, I wrote like the great poem of Nobel Laureate Pablo Neruda.. ‘I don’t know how poetry

arrived in search of me..’.. I wrote.. wrote.... a million lines... poetry or not.... even I did not know....I wrote.....

Draping the uniforms of a former student, I spoke to Sister Shilpa of Mount Carmel School in May 2013. There again I could feel the same kind of inspirational vibration which I experienced in my school days.

Later in June 2013, Unnikrishnan, a social worker from my village in Kottayam and me met Sir ONV, the living legend of Malayalam Poetry and he blessed me and my poems, a great moment of my life indeed.